stupid grad students...

FYI, I was NOT at the Cal/USC game, so for once, that's not on me. Unfortunately, I was at the 49ers/Cardinals MNF game, so my curse has now gone pro.

Anyways, I was talking to my sister the other day and asked her what she was doing. Here was the answer: "I'm eating uncooked ramen out of the bag and drinking beer imported from a third world country that I'm pretty sure is expired. My roommate's drinking warm Coke from a two litter bottle that I found somewhere and eating 10 hard boiled eggs. We're watching this week's 'Real Chance of Love' for the third time because it makes us feel better since we just had office hours and the stupid kids keep showing up." I felt a mix of nostalgia and disgust that I hadn't felt since I watched the premiere of the new 90210. It seems that the Asian American Studies graduate department at UCLA is almost as selective about whom they let in as the Mech. E. department. I told her to get back to me when she's stealing a car during finals in order to tape a cardboard spoiler to the trunk.

add it up!

New movie idea: Add It Up! The story of a half-black, half-Asian boy, Malik Sounaphonaphong, whose parents are professional hip-hop dancers with dreams of him becoming the greatest b-boy of his generation. He does the dance thing, but his real love is math, in which he has a preternatural ability. Conflict arises when his dad catches him solving equations instead of practicing his flares, leading to the following exchange:

Thom: What are you doing son?
Malik: Uhhh...nothing dad. What's up?
Thom: Is that...math?
Malik: NO! I'm, you know, just mapping out my next routine.
Thom: Don't lie to me boy.
Malik: Sorry, dad. Yeah I'm doing math, but I like it.
Thom: Who needs math? Math didn't buy this house; popping and locking did. Where was math when I was selling crack to buy tap shoes? Where was math when your mom got dropped from that 2 Live Crew video? I've danced too hard and gone through rehab too many times to see you throw all your God given talent away on something as bitchass as math.
Malik: My bad. I'll try to stop.

A few days later, Malik is at a dance-off near the university when curiosity gets the better of him, and he sneaks into the math hall. While inside, he sees a group of students solving equations on the chalkboard.

Malik: What cha all doin'?
Patty: We're practicing for the DeMATHlon, it's a math competition for college students.
James (turning from the chalkboard): Are you lost kid? Can we help you find something?
Malik: You're the one who needs help. You're doing that shit all wrong.
James (laughing): What are you talking about? Like you know anything about fourth degree, nonlinear, differential equations.
Malik: You know what? You're really being a bitch right now. I was solving differential equations before you even knew what vector calculus was.

Malik goes up to the board and solves the equation easily. I would let you know what happens next, but I don't want to ruin the opening weekend box office. I'll let you know that it involves the line: "You can call me your derivative because I want to be tangent to your curves." THAT SHIT IS HOT SON! Add It Up! Watch for it!