sunday: football and God

First things first: Cal 66 Washington State 3. Wow, I can't even win that big when I play the video game and cheat, which is redundant since you have to cheat in that game if only to counter the computer's cheating.

On that note, I've added to the list of things I need to do before I die: attend a (Cal) game at every stadium in the Pac-10. Here's my progress so far:

Arizona -- Done. Cal loses, costing us a Rose Bowl birth. (I'll be back this year)
ASU -- Done. Cal loses in the middle of their slide in 2007, where we lost 6 out of 7 games.
Cal -- Done. My senior year, we went 1-10.
Stanford -- Ashamed to say I have yet to go to a Big Game on the farm.
Oregon -- Next year
OSU -- After I figure out where Corvallis is...
UCLA -- Done. Lost in OT in 100 degree heat.
USC -- Maybe this year, anyone wanna go?
Washington -- Eventually
WSU -- Sure, I'll travel hundreds of miles to the middle of nowhere to watch the worst team in the league play.

For those of you who will be willing to pay me to stop going to games, I cannot be bought (unless it's a lot of money or at least a 6 piece chicken nuggets).

Now to change the subject to something much less enjoyable. Instead of using my time more wisely pursuing such endeavors as playing video games and watching pornography, I've been doing a lot of reading. I'm currently reading "The Year of Living Biblically," in which the author tries to live a year of his life as close to a literal interpretation of the bible as possible. It's a good book and has a lot of random trivia. The bible's a random book, even if you ignore all the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. I have a new favorite section Deuteronomy 25:11-12:

If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.

That shit it crazy! So all you married guys watch out. If we're throwing down and your wife steps up and starts grabbing at my privates, I have no choice but to lop off her hand with no pity. No pity! I'll have to finish up my business with you, which probably won't take long since if your wife needs to step in, you're probably Washington State to my Cal. Then, I'd have to gently remove your wife's hand from my genitals and then proceed to remove it from her arm. Sorry, but that's what the bible wants me to do.

Also in the book, it talks about groups of very orthodox Jews and Christians who are working to breed a perfectly red heifer. According to the Old Testament, a red heifer without a single non-red hair needs to be sacrificed at the Temple of Jerusalem, and its ashes can then be used is some sort of purification ritual. After this ritual is finished, it will clear the way for the arrival of the Jewish Messiah. The Christians are interested because if this messiah comes, he'll obviously be the Antichrist since they already got a messiah, who'll return to Earth to fight the Antichrist, who, needless to say, will be a heavy underdog. And that's not even the crazy part!

So if these dudes do get this perfectly red cow, they'll need to rebuild the Temple of Jerusalem, which would be all well and good if the temple did not have be build at the current location of the Dome of the Rock. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's the cool-looking golden dome structure behind that handsome gentleman in the picture below. It's also the supposed location of Muhammad's ascension to heaven and the third holiest site in all of Islam. Last I checked neither of these groups are real keen on sharing. Looks like the world's going to end one way or another; I really need to get going on this stadium thing...